As we come up on our Easter weekend I cant help but dwell on a question that is the title of a much loved song but a question we rarely think about…did you know?
You were around 14 and engaged to be married when you had a crazy dream involving an angel telling you that you were pregnant ! Gah I can’t imagine that. At 14, in your time, sex was not explained to the women other than “your husband will teach you” and any premarital sex or fooling around was very much a sin. I can imagine you “waking up” in a cold sweat-panting- clutching your belly because in that moment you knew that it wasnt a dream.
As far as teaching your story goes, we tend to think that you immediately went to Joseph but in reality he would have laughed at you or worse, he would have assumed you were making excuses for being unfaithful. Did you keep it to yourself for four weeks until your period failed to show? Did you get that tight unrelenting knot in your throat as you thought of how your family would shun you? How did you have the faith and strength to tell your family?
Flash forward to your most likely hurried and hushed marriage. I doubt it was the celebration you planned. I’m sure the small town rumors were flying about the promiscuous girl who was tricking her new husband, but you continued on.
On that ride into Bethlehelm, as the contractions shook your entire body, did you really know what was happening? I mean, you were only 14 after all. You we’re a child faced with giving birth as a virgin to God’s Son. Did you feel psychotic? Did you think that you perhaps repressed memories of a rape? Did you believe from the very beginning that you were carrying the Holy One?
That night had to have been long. Laboring in the cool desert surrounded by animals and candlelight. You did not have a midwife, only your husband who could legally abandon you at any time due to having another person’s child . He wrapped Jesus in cloth and laid him on your breast and as the suckling started and the amazing oxytocin feel good high began-did you know?
Dud God’s angels ever warn you of what was to come? Did you comprehend how many people would love him and yet how many more would hate him? Did you know that your son would perform miracles upon miracles ?Did you know that that tiny babe that No One had room for would one day preach to thousands and then feed them, that he would bring the dead back to life and help a blind man to see?
Oh Mary. My heart hurts for you . As a mother of boys I know the love and aggravation that boys can endow upon their mothers. I can imagine that Jesus was a mommas boy as you were just a child when he was born and you two grew up together. You see your son do so many great things for 30 years….then…in the blink of an eye, he is seen as a criminal…your son who was a miracle from conception, who has healed so many, is believed to be worse than the scum of the earth. Surely they would let him go but NO they release Barabas -a thief and murderer-and push to crucify and torture your son to death.
I can imagine the feeling of your heart being ripped from your chest. Did God warn you? Did you know? Did you know that God was sacrificing the most perfect Lamb? Were you angry at God-I’m sure you we’re- we like to think that you just sat back and trusted him but how could you ?? How could you trust him when he is letting your son be beaten and spit at? Your screams had to have filled up the harsh blood filled night air.
Mary did you know?
Did you know that you would feel every hit of the hammer as it drove nails into his hands and feet? Did you know that watching him on that cross as his weight dislocated his shoulders and compressed his lungs would make it hard for you to breath? Did you weep with Mary Magdaline or were you in such shock that you had cried all your tears long before?
“MY GOD MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!”
He cried as a storm rolled over the hill. He breathed his last breath as God turned his back on the sins of the world and allowed the Lamb to take all of the blame.
“IT IS FINISHED”
Mary , did you know that those last three words preserved life for everyone from then to eternity ? Mary , did you believe those to be his final words?
Three days past and you went to bathe the body and wrap with new linens. His body wasn’t there! Did you really believe he was alive or did you doubt ? Did you believe? Did Joseph and Mary Magdaline and all of the disciples believe ?
Mary, did you know-
Did you know that the world would celebrate His death and resurection for eternity ?
Did you know that he would truly save us all?
Mary, was 14 year old you scared? Did 14 year old you know?
Mary, how could you have known….but yet you believed.
Mary, I pray to have your faith.
Mary…did you know?
I hope everyone reflects on what Easter is really about this year ❤