I got pretty darn lucky when I met my now husband eight short years ago. We have one of those marriages that people are always ooohhhing and ahhhhing over so in honor of his 32nd birthday tomorrow I wanted to write a piece for all of the women, no matter how old , marriages, history etc on how to finally find someone worth walking down the aisle to.
I grew up, and remain, conservative Christian…but you can be as liberal as possible or even athiest to abide by the following few principles. Now I will go ahead and say that I do believe that a truly strong marriage is not possible without God. Having that one core fundament serves as an anchor that even on your worst days you can reach out to and somehow find the air to breath….but mainly I want to talk about your self worth.
What price do you put on yourself? Yes, I am talking about the most intimate side of you…the side that throws all the love you have at someone and fully trusts them to respect and care for you at your most vulnerable.
The guys out there that are oh so handsome but they have a background of sleeping around….what makes you think that they are going to settle down? Did they tell you that on the first date then take you to bed? Don’t you think that that line was used before on other girls?
Guys like that are smart and know all the right words to say and the things to do. After all, Every girl dreams, to some extent, of being swept away by prince charming. Why would a guy like this settle down with you if they realize that the sex is easy? Do men like this have your heart at the top of the list of concerns?
As women, especially in a world of social media and Photoshop, it is SO easy to fall for some smooth talking, good looking guy. He might even tell you things like “you won’t get anyone else” “if you don’t sleep with me I’ll be gone and I’ll tell everyone”.
Listen to me young girls, heck listen to me girls and women of ANY age….your body -your heart and your soul- are worth so much more than what some guys will make you believe.
I was married before but even then me and David waited until we were married. When we met I told him that I wanted a fresh start and that it was important to me to only sleep with someone after I was married….and girls…hear me out: HE SAID OK! HE WAS FINE WITH IT BECAUSE HE WANTED TO DATE ME. My husband dated me and got to know my heart, my hopes , my dreams and I learned his.
By the time we were married we were so in love and could genuinely say that we were marrying each other until death do us part. So many people get married now because of the physical attraction….they get married at 25 because they have been having sex since day 1 and it’s awesome and they are both super attractive people….but what happens when she is pregnant and vomiting for 9months and doesn’t want her husband to even breath in her direction? What is the man who married based on physical attraction going to do? Is he still going to”love her” or is it going to be the start of a downward spiral?
Now I know I am a minority when it comes to these beliefs, and you don’t have to take me at 100% of what I did, but all I’m asking is that you reevaluate your self worth. If a marriage is really what you want, sit back and look at the guys you are attracting. If you don’t believe in waiting until marriage try a timeline . Tell them that you want to wait six months-a guy interested in your heart will wait it out whereas a man interested in your body will leave.
I found my prince charming. I set my self worth high by watching how I dress and how I carry myself and how I speak. I like to dress modestly with things left for the imagination. I do not believe in speaking vulgarly or cussing. My husband never questioned my beliefs. He never pushed or asked for anything . He respected me which made me love him even more. He opens doors, holds umbrellas, rubs my feet when I get off work and does an amazing job being a daddy and setting models for our boys to grow towards. There are plenty like him you just have to change your value. After all, God made you perfect so why do you have to try to make yourself desirable?